I appreciate the dichotomy of maintaining conflicting beliefs about oneself. I regularly believe I am the greatest, while simulatiously nothing at all. I believe that everyone loves me, yet that everyone despises me. I am deserving, but I am not worthy.
As the world continues to work it's way out of the lockdown and towards a "normal" state, I have found my schedule being completely ruined. I moved to a new apt and we're back in the office so I lost the previous routines of working on Setkit and writing. How to maintain consistency and yet be flexible with unforeseen plans?
I tend to sit with something on in the background. Unfortunately, when at home or working on personal projects I tell myself it's fine to listen to videos or shows (I love bloopers and deleted scenes on YouTube). Even though I've seen them all before I still get distracted and don't work as well even though I tell myself I can.
What would you do for 24 hours without a phone or computer?
I find myself being drawn to the idea of something and disappointed with the thing itself. Disappointment derives from unmet expectations.
Stolen from Fez on That's 70's Show: "Opportunities do not knock on the door and then knock again and then ring the doorbell." Take the opportunity when it comes or quit complaining about not getting any.
Along with the notion of procrastination, staying up late is a way to delay the inevitable and rationalize that it's not meant for work time. Therefore also delaying waking up, rather than bringing the work not wanting to be done.
Why are some things so hard to do, simply because we don't want to do them or are reluctant to start. And yet once we do them, they don't take nearly as much time or require as much effort as originally anticipated.
Starting out the day, when well-rested, I'm feeling good. Halfway through the day, after a lot of work and a lot of pressure I get increased worry and stress. By the end of the day, I'm more or less at the point of, well, who cares? Let's just give up. Obviously that's not an ideal situation to be in, but oddly enough, I feel okay about everything. Or maybe apathetic about everything, which is feeling nothing at all.